Friday, February 16, 2018

How to Run a Large Family Household



I have been wanting to share a bit about how we manage to run a large household these past few weeks. Since we are a family of 11 you can imagine how important it is to have order in our home. Do we always accomplish that? Of course not, there are days that we can't get to everything but that is okay because we know what needs to be done and can get to it all quickly as needed.

I have long been a list girl for decades because I know they help me be more efficient with the time that I have available. So it is only natural for me to list that as number one on my list below! However, now that I am older I already know the many things that need to be done off the top of my head and can get our house in motion in no time.

But one of they keys I must mention before all else is to remember to delegate. You can't do everything by yourself and shouldn't need to. Children need to learn to work hard and be responsible. We do them a disservice when we allow them to do nothing all day and don't teach them life skills. As children get older there is something that everyone can do from setting the table to mowing the grass or taking on cleaning or organizational projects, etc.


So let's take a quick look at what I wanted to share today:


1. To-Do Lists - I have them for everything from morning schedules posted in my kids rooms, to cleaning, shopping, library, blogging and more. I print some out but most are on my phone or computer and they keep everything running pretty efficiently. It is a blessing to keep it all down on paper and not cluttering up my thinking. I am at ease knowing I can access all this information easily and quickly as needed. I also like to set up alarms for important things that need to get done weekly and daily.

They say that it takes 30 days to learn a habit or routine, and I find that using alarms on my phone has definitely helped with that and kept us on course.


2. Schedules -we have a special day to do certain things in our home like washing sheets, cleaning the tub, big projects, homeschool specific days and so on. I try to keep a calendar posted on the fridge for the kids to see and also give them calendars to manage their school schedules as well. Even though we don't follow this perfectly, it is nice to have accomplishments and goals to reach for during the week.

3. Delegate - Like I mentioned above it is important to work as a team. This is harder to do when the children are toddlers so I would wait until they are older. If you look online you can find tons of age specific work charts for children that are very helpful, here is one from Focus on the Family. I noticed that my children can usually do more than what is on the charts so just see what your child is capable of.

4. Flexibility & Loose Planning - I've written before that my secret weapon is flexibility because it is. In a big family you just have to adapt to what is going on at the moment. You never know who will be home or who will be gone. You also can't get emotionally stuck because your plan is not working. You have to know that all is okay and just keep moving to the next thing and make due with what you can. It is not a big deal and the world won't end. Just try to keep moving forward because that is better than not moving at all!

In the same spirit, even if you have all the to-do lists and schedules that you, they can fall through so loosely plan and be thankful and content for what the Lord actually allowed you to accomplish that day. There is actually a lot if you think about it. Loving a child, giving a hug when needed, praying for your husband--these are all things that we overlook but are very important.

5. Make Changes and Adjust - What I did 20, 10, or 5 years ago is not going to fly today. I have had to make several changes on how we run things and adapt as our family has changed over the years. We now have 2 adults and several older teens in our home so many times I felt I have had to wing things to adjust to new work schedules, outings, and so forth. There is nothing wrong with this, in fact, it is just life. We are always adjusting to new seasons and this is no different. Just embrace it and go along and do your best to create peace in your little haven.

6. Find the Humor in Things and Don't Take Everything Too Seriously - When I was a younger mom I think I did take myself and things too seriously, but now I know to just laugh things off as they come and as much as I can. The most important thing is loving my family and if I can do that even when plans change that is what counts.


I hope these tips were an encouragement to you!

How do *you* run a large household?



If you need more encouragement in this area, we recommend the book Home Management: Plain & Simple by Kim Brenneman:


Home--more than a house, a home is a place for rest, restoration, and relationship. For families with children, a home is a place for care, learning, and belonging.

Managing a busy home is a serious undertaking, with many tasks to face and obstacles to overcome: the laundry monster, household clutter and cleaning, caring for babies and little ones, menu planning and mealtime routines, town outings, bill paying--and so much more!

This sensible and straightforward how-to manual is filled with systematic procedures, easy-to-understand organizational advice, with tips and hints for managing a bustling home with greater efficiency--all in a way that honors God and builds family relationships. 


You can find this book HERE.








Note: This post contains affiliate links--thanks for your support!




Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Wise Woman Linkup!




A Wise Woman Builds Her Home is a place to be encouraged in your high and noble calling of role of wife and mother and daughter to the King and we want to encourage each and every single reader out there to build up strong Christian homes to the glory of God.

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. " 

1 Thessalonians 5:11

We would love for you to link up with us! Come and share your posts on building up your home, homemaking, character, hospitality, femininity, family, tea, recipes, parenting, marriage, homeschooling, and whatever else you'd like to share that would encourage our community. Feel free to also share more than one post!


We shared this on our Instagram today:



We would love for you to connect with us there!



Be sure to connect with us there so you don't miss anything and on our other platforms too:

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Instagram
Pinterest
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We share things there that we don't share here on the blog!

Did you get a chance to enter our special Valentine's Day Giveaway?



And don't forget to join our Wise Woman Titus 2 Facebook Group--we've added a ton of people this year so I hope you get plugged in there too:



Now back to the Linkup--if you do join our link up we only require one thing! PLEASE share the image below on your blog and link back so that others can find us and join in the fun or just simply paste and copy the code into your blog sidebar or at the bottom of the post that you shared here:









If you are reading by email, visit our blog to see the whole post. 

You can link up below: 
 





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Monday, February 12, 2018

The Important Four Rules of Communication That Will Strengthen Your Marriage




Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  and do not give the devil a foothold.  Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
 
 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.   -Ephesians 4:25


Do you struggle with communicating biblically? If we were honest, I'd say we ALL do at sometime or another. Not too long ago I was blessed to hear a great sermon on this very topic using the verse above as a reference. These four rules can change your life AND your marriage!

Here are some of the notes I have from it:

1. Be honest  
  • Speak
  • Speak truthfully (don't use words like "you always, you never-don't exaggerate)
  • Speak truth lovingly (don't speak to slaughter or attack character)
2. Keep current
  • Anger is energy to be used in solving problems (don't wait too long to fix problems, also drop your tone of voice)
  • Anger used unbiblically attacks others or ones self
  • Failure to solve today's problems today means you are:
  1. Guilty of sin
  2. Opening the door to resentment and hatred
  3. Endangering your sexual relationship
  4. Setting the stage for future problems to be distorted
3. Attack problems, not people
  • Unwholesome words attack character, bypass the real issue and grieve the Holy Spirit
  • Edifying communication encourages, builds up, centers on personal responsibility and gives grace to those who hear it. 
  • Focus on unbiblical thinking and behavior
  • Seek to understand goals and motives
4. Act! Don't react!
  •   The typical reaction of our old nature not getting what it wants are:
  1. Bitterness: the refusal to treat someone as if they never hurt you
  2. Wrath: a flaring outburst of rage
  3. Anger: the slow burn, settled indignation
  4. Clamor: harsh contention and strife, public quarreling
  5. Slanders: speech that injures, speech that is abusive
  6. Malice: the desire to harm others or to see them suffer
  • Attitudes and actions you must put on to replace the typical reaction:
  1. Be kind: be benevolent; helpful; courteous
  2. Tender-hearted: compassionate; sympathetic
  3. Forgiving: to pass over an offense and free the offender from the guilt of it.

 Changing habits can be difficult, but by the grace of God, it can be done. Phil. 4:13, 1 Cor 10:13





What rule do you need to work on most?





*These sermon notes were originally shared by Herb Devine. This post also contains affiliate links--thanks for your support!




If you need further encouragement on communicating and on being wife, I highly recommend The Excellent Wife:




"Martha Peace, a nouthetic counselor of women, has written an Excellent Volume. Not only does it explain what God "requires" of a Christian wife, but it explains clearly how to obey God's commandments in order to become that wife. Get it, read it and profit from it."
"The Excellent Wife" is an absolute must for women today. This book is a welcomed first because it is a Scripturally based, systematic and practical work for today's women. Within its pages is a detailed portrait of a godly wife. Not only is the standard high and godly, but Martha demonstrates that by God's grace, it is attainable..."

You can find this book HERE.









Sunday, February 11, 2018

Honoring Christ & Our Husbands

Today Jennifer of Blessed Femina is sharing with us:



If we aren't in the Word or loving Christ with our whole heart then we truly can't love our husbands like we should. I love that incredible quote by CS Lewis~ 
 
When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.  ― C.S. Lewis, Letters


This is SO true!


Do you continually seek to set aside time with the Lord in prayer & His Word? 

I know we all can struggle with this one at times (including myself!) but pray to the Lord to give you strength and determination to continually seek Him.

This will help in all aspects of your marriage and your relationship with others.                         



For busy wives and moms this might mean not being able to read an entire chapter or book but rather reading, meditating and memorizing a short verse for that week. Post it in your kitchen, decorate it, put in the car, laundry room, or your bedroom... wherever you spend the most time so it's visible... Involve the little ones and have them be your Bible memory partners! 



Don't be afraid to mark your Bible! I know some aren't comfortable with this and that's totally fine... I just happen to be a very visual person so marking my favorite Bible verses and adding symbols helps me to implant the Word in my heart & mind.

I love to mark all of the verses that relate to being a wife/mother in pink....
then when I'm flipping through my Bible I can easily see the ways a godly woman should honor her family and husband. 

Listening to Bible audio, sermons, spiritual songs and hymns... whilst cleaning the house is a great way to do this as well. Some of my greatest theological lessons have been learned through listening to RC Sproul whilst scrubbing the bathroom floor.  

Oh and have I mentioned....folding laundry is the perfect time to pray for your husband & children too.


One of my favorite verses since I got married has been from Proverbs 31:23:
"Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land."

Are you a wife who makes her husband known in the gates?
That verse IS so special and so significant.
We as wives have the great power and influence to make our husbands known in the gates.....how beautiful!
You might be thinking what does that look like?

It means honoring him, encouraging him, building him up, being more concerned about HIS needs than your OWN needs. (Mark 12:31) It means refusing to speak ill of him to others and instead speaking well of his good qualities and letting him and others know them. Being thankful for him. Looking at your own sin more than his and seeking to improve yourself. It means being aware of the ways you can be a better helpmeet to him... for each husband that looks different. Get to know your beloved and friend... discover the ways that make him feel more loved! That may simply mean having soothing music and candles going when he gets home, making his favorite dinner or leaving love notes in his briefcase. 

Sure there are times when we must gently say something to our husbands or make an appeal to them when we see a sin issue in their lives but our focus should not be expecting immediate action. We should not finger point or belittle them with our words. No! We are called to be patient! There is plenty of sin in our own hearts that we need to be focused on. Our goal should always be restoration and realizing that we are not their conscience -- God is. And even if we bring something to them that they might not see... we are called to pray, forgive and move on... knowing that God is working in ways that might not yet be known or understood. Keeping the focus on our own sin and continuing in the path of grace is our ultimate goal.

Being a wife that honors her husband brings glory to God. When children see this in a marriage there is so much comfort, joy, sweetness and security that springs forth in their little hearts. You have a great opportunity to show your little ones what a godly marriage looks like..., exalting Christ and putting your spouse's needs before your own. This is what the Christian life is about... serving others first before ourselves. Dying to our wants, our desires, our needs... and seeking to love another more than oneself.....that is true JOY!


"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." -I Peter 4:8 



 

Living her dream of being a wife and homemaker. Jen happily resides in sweet home Alabama. She firmly believes that the home is a beautiful canvas for biblical hospitality, servant hood and discipleship. All aspects of homemaking are on her list of interests including gourmet cooking, baking, calligraphy, sewing and embroidery. She is also inspired by photography, music, theology and biblical womanhood. 

Jen blogs at Blessed Femina, which she founded in the fall of 2008 to encourage other women in Biblical femininity. It is her greatest desire to live a life depicted in I Corinthians 10:31: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.



(Republished from the archives & this post contains affiliate links--thanks for your support!)


If you need further reading on this topic, I highly recommend The Excellent Wife:




"Martha Peace, a nouthetic counselor of women, has written an Excellent Volume. Not only does it explain what God "requires" of a Christian wife, but it explains clearly how to obey God's commandments in order to become that wife. Get it, read it and profit from it."
"The Excellent Wife" is an absolute must for women today. This book is a welcomed first because it is a Scripturally based, systematic and practical work for today's women. Within its pages is a detailed portrait of a godly wife. Not only is the standard high and godly, but Martha demonstrates that by God's grace, it is attainable..."

You can find this book HERE.









Thursday, February 8, 2018

FREE FOR YOU: The 30- Day Love Language Minute Devotional!



Want to strengthen your marriage this year?

You won't want to miss getting The 30- Day Love Language Minute Devotional--great for busy moms! It's FREE for a limited time so get it while you can.




I hope it is a blessing to you!







Note: This post contains affiliate links, thanks for your support!






Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Wise Woman Linkup!




A Wise Woman Builds Her Home is a place to be encouraged in your high and noble calling of role of wife and mother and daughter to the King and we want to encourage each and every single reader out there to build up strong Christian homes to the glory of God.

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. " 

1 Thessalonians 5:11

We would love for you to link up with us! Come and share your posts on building up your home, homemaking, character, hospitality, femininity, family, tea, recipes, parenting, marriage, homeschooling, and whatever else you'd like to share that would encourage our community. Feel free to also share more than one post!

We recently shared this beautiful reminder on our Instagram page:




"The mother's HEART is the CHILD'S schoolroom."







Be sure to connect with us there so you don't miss anything and on our other platforms too:

Facebook
Instagram
Pinterest
Twitter

We share things there that we don't share here on the blog!


FAVORITE POSTS THIS WEEK:










And don't forget to join our Wise Woman Titus 2 Facebook Group--we've added a ton of people this year so I hope you get plugged in there too:



Now back to the Linkup--if you do join our link up we only require one thing! PLEASE share the image below on your blog and link back so that others can find us and join in the fun or just simply paste and copy the code into your blog sidebar or at the bottom of the post that you shared here:









If you are reading by email, visit our blog to see the whole post. 

You can link up below: 
 





(Note: This post might contain affiliate links--thanks for your support!)








Monday, February 5, 2018

Feminine Favorites: Red Wine Floral Maxi!


This is such a beautiful Wine Floral dress and hard to find that I just had to share! It comes in different colors and styles and so glad it is back because I missed sharing about it last time.






It comes in several different colors and styles:

Colors:
  • Black Wrap
  • Olive Wrap
  • Rust Wrap
  • Wine Wrap
  • Black
  • Mauve
  • Burgundy



And it is made in the US. You might want to use a tank top in addition to it if you prefer, but other styles go up to the neck.

But remember it is available for a limited time only!

You can find it here for over half off right now HERE.





Note: This post contains affiliate links, please see our disclosure policy.




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